So whats goin on!

Things are goin.

I withdrew from my math class.  Yeah Yeah Yeah! Look it was affecting my quality of life. I was too stressed over it and this is my first year.

The school has a policy of not "front loading" as they call it. I cry bullshit on this one cause the student advisor said she scheduled me for this other math class just one session after my last math class. The Art institute only has ONE math class required. So I was getting my run up math class that I had to have cause my math grade was so bad, then full blown college math 6 weeks later. She said she thought it would help me more since the other math would still be fresh.

Uhm no. Actually what it did was make me flip out. I barely got through that first math class. Passed it by the skin of my teeth. C ok I eeked out a C. I figured I had time to knock out some other classes and no worry about math since I have 3 more years and I don't have to have math done in the first year. I appreciate the idea but I wasn't ready for it. And I acknowledge that. I know some people are gonna be disappointed. I was a little disappointed. I am still worried Kristina is disappointed and just doesn't want to say it so I won't feel bad, but I just couldn't do this class right now. I needed a break a real break. The school thing is stressfull enough without getting pinned between two math classes that make me frantic.

I need some time to enjoy some of this school so I don't get burned out. Since this bachelors program is something I love it should be easy. But I didn't get any chance to appreciate the classes I have before they hit me with one that I had told them I was very very worried about.

SO there. I withdrew. I'll have to take it again and pay for it again. And I am ok with that.

The monkies are doing great. There was a serious grounding recently over "destroying" things, but that is working itself out.  Aaron is eating dinner right along with everyone else. No matter what we have. He dodged out on salad a week ago but he has been eating Split pea soup and 15 bean soup, and fish and vegetables. It's good. He is having better night time experiences and bedtimes issues are becoming less frequent.

Christian is using methodology in his drawing. There were several weeks of arguing over that. He just wanted to draw and I wanted him to start learning the techniques. It was interesting. He had one of his art class paintings submitted by his art teacher for the Bay Arts Alliance kids of bay county exhibit. His painting of a shark eating a salmon was sbumitted as one of the 3 3'rd graders for his whole school. He wasn't as impressed by that as he should have been. He had the idea that there would be some more sort of recognition at the event we went to other than just people walking around seeing his work along with everyone elses.

Things are going great in all aspects. Kristina is awesome, and we are having just as much fun and talking just as much. We have been playing Lord of the Rings Online together and I find that VERY exciting. OK IT'S HOT! She plays games with me! ROCK OUT!  I love her. She is insane. Just as insane as I am. Still with the funny noises and the sillyness. I feel very lucky.

Hope you guys are having fun. It's just your life.

Oh yeah, the school thing and politics and all that.

Honestly I don't want to know about those kids in virginia. It's too much. I can't deal with it right now. It's just one of those things that I acknowledge but I don't want to know the details. I don't want to know who they were. I don't want to know who the killer was. He isn't important!

Let me say that again. THAT GUY ISN'T IMPORTANT! OK! He went nuts. Maybe mommy didn't hug him enough maybe daddy smacked him too much. I DON'T CARE! He did something noone should even think about doing and he doesn't deserve to be named. His picture doesn't need to be plastered all over the world. He doesn't need to be trash can admired.  You wanna talk about it. Talk about the kids that died. I won't listen to it either, but at least your not giving in to what he wanted. Your not justifiying what he did in the way he wanted it justified.

He wanted to be all over the news. He wanted to be a household name. DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM! PLEASE! Speak of him as though you would speak of a lightning bolt. It was a THING it was an EVENT it had no soul it had no reason, it just happened as it happened. Achnowledge the tragedy not the man who did it. Because all you will achieve is inspriring the next talking lightning bolt and showing them that through horrible unspeakable deeds they may yet achieve something of "meaning " even if they are the only ones who see it.

Politics?

WOW. Uhm a guy like me couldn't dream of a political environment worse than what is actually happening in my worst nightmares. I am dumbfounded at the current white house administration and equally appalled by both houses of congress and how they are handling things. It's like watching a grade school split in half on the playground and watching little kids have at each other with a war of words. But instead of words we are having a war of subtle inuendo and hearings. Noone is asking a straight question ANYWHERE. Noone is filing charges ANYWHERE. But everyone knows what is being said and why. Revenge is revenge. People voted to change the status quoe because it was headed in a direction noone really wanted to keep going.

Changing that didn't mean cart blanche to be backbiters. It wasn't anymore a blank check to annoy and ridicule the other side than the original votes were a blank check to be become a caucasian Ghengis Kahn.

I'm worried for my children in the same way that Mel Gibsons character in "The Patriot" was worried for his children. I'm afraid before I grow old an die there may be another great conflict in the United States that won't have anything to do with terrorism or foreign governments or Islam. Instead of the Grey and Blue, it'll be the Blue and the Red. And I don't want them to have to live in that time. Unless they are prepared to stand up for whats right and fair and just. But trying to teach them that hurt their adult lives. And I would rather not have to try to teach them things I don't believe just so I know they can get along and "pass".

I don't know maybe I am looking too far down the rabbit hole, but it's starting to creep into my dreams.

Another dream I keep having is very very disturbing. I'll go ahead and say it since it is just a dream. In my dream I am living life and the dream is spanning months. They are flying by like a montage. Not a Peter Jackson montage, cause I don't have 28 hours a day to sleep. But these months are going by and I am seeing sign after sign after sign that it is my responsibility to buy a sniper rifle and kill Bill O'reilly and Sean Hannity. It's something I have to do to help America be safe. I know it's creepy. I think it's creepy. But in my dream those two guys just start getting scarier and scarier and they start advocating that "liberals" and "homos" and "illegals" should be seperated from the rest of the "great americans" who work hard and live right and blah blah blah. They are all but advocating concentration camps and the hands are clapping across america. Even people who don't know that they are on the lists to go to the camps are sitting in front of the tv clapping and smiling. Clapping themselves right into the camps.

I know it's freaky. I told you it was.

Anyway, I'll keep thinkin on that one and try to figure out how to make it stop.

Love you guys!