FunWithCancer.org

I made a comment to one of my posts below after I started thinking back.

Angela Crout made me think of it. It was hugs. For all the drinkin and smokin that went down, the things that really stand out in my memory are the hugs. I've never been so hugged in my life as those years running around at SK .

People need to hug more I think. I hugged more as an insecure, confused teenaged boy than I do now as a relatively secure, focused post teenaged boy. (I'm still not a man yet! I just can't stop watching the cartoons hahaha)
And that is not easy. Teenaged boys are supposed to be avoiding contact but I remember hugging Quentin and Andrew almost as much as Nichole and Angela.

And Chris Collins was a big hugger too. He would throw down on the shoulder hugs without a blink.
Tami knows I miss all my friends, and she told me if I wanted to move back she would understand.
It was very sweet. She really is wonderfull. I would love for her to get to know everyone I know. You would all love her and she would love you guys. It would just happen. I know it.
But .... we are happy where we are. And excited.
The carpeting is done on the house. We have to grout the tile around the tub in the master bathroom and install the dishwasher but after that we are done and ready to move in.
Then I have to finish the outside. Mainly cleaning the gutters and painting the exterior.
And getting rid of all the construction trash lol.

Quentin said they have raised over 6k for Andrew. That is sooo awesome. I was worried with the way things are economically that they might have a hard time, but everyone loved Andrew.
I should have known better.

Well back to the grindy grind!

I really thought I had matured to the point that I was covering death pretty well.

I've got the life insurance. Company policy and personal policy, so Tami and boys are covered right under 300k. That increases as my salary increases so it offsets lifestyle a bit.
Then there was the idea that I add 10k to the policy a year. Everyone knows how I want to be "taken care of" in case you don't then here it is.
I am an organ donor, so whatever is left after they pick me apart, cremate it up and put it in a little box and sprinkle it on some body of water.
That's pretty much it.
Friends and family have pictures and memories to remember me by.
They don't need to go visit an engraved rock shrine. I just think it is a waste of resources, land and money.
I'd rather them all go on a picnic and talk about me if they just feel they have to do that, though I seriously doubt that would happen.
(meaing noone sets aside "dead people picnic day" in this country)

I know I'm not invincible. I know I am going to die and I'm not afraid of that.

What I found out in the last couple days is that OTHER PEOPLE,

are

They are not supposed to die, and I am TERRIFIED of who is next.

It is giving me bad dreams.

Alot of people have had awesome things to say about chuck.
Elaborate, beautifull, and very heartfelt.
All I could say was, "This sucks".
After thinking and thinking and thinking that's still pretty much all I can say about his death.
It sucks.
I ramble on and on across this blog like a loon.
Endless ramblings about gay marriages, and government, and property.
And I still can't think of what to say about Andrew.
I want to say something.
I talked to Nichole last night for a couple hours.
Every time I tried to say what I wanted to say about Andrew my vocal chords felt like they swelled up and I just couldn't say anything.
Nicha would jump in when I got "too" silent.
She rocks like that.

I miss my friends. If any of you are reading this please understand. I would love to get ahold of each of you again. And I will try. I moved away cause I wanted to see if I was the same person I thought I was.
Then the world just swept me up and I ended up in Florida. I don't like it much here.
The beach isn't that great since I love the woods and open fields much more than salty slimy fishland.
I miss my family. So much is going on and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm a thousand miles away and I really want to keep my job and my house. I like them both and I have invested in them both heavily.

This sucks too.
Being so far away.
I should have talked to him more.
Now I'm scared.
Too many people I care about are all being stalked by the cold hand of the void.
And I can't do anything about it.
That sucks too.
O'm being stalked by it as well but I'm only worried about in the way that I may not have let everyone know what I needed them to know.

Well alot of you need to know. I thought you were the bomb.

Quentin: You know. I know you know.

Robin: I'm confident you know. We got time now and again and you should know I admire respect and miss you.

Nichole: You know. You don't know everything I want you to know but I told you the biggest part of what I wanted you to know.

Matt: I got to say some things. But not everything. And I don't know if you even want to know.

Tim: I haven't talked to you in years and I need to. There are some things you don't know. Again, whether you want to know them or not is a completely different story.

Chris C: We started talking again, and I keep forgetting to call you. That's my fault. I'm still embarrased and I don't want to bug you. And I know you understand that sentence.

Chris A : You may know. Probably not. But you will.

Tom: Sheesh I need you to know . I miss talkin to you man.

Rich: You too homey. We spent too much time together to not talk for so long. I miss talkin to you.

Mike: I got ahold of you not long ago. And got the distinct impression you didn't really need me to call again. Ok. I can do that.

Doug: I want to know how you are doing. The last two times I came through the KY I tried to drop messages for you so we could keep in touch. If you never got em, then I still have to find you. If you got em and just didn't care then I'll leave you alone.

John: You need to know. I lost track of you really soon . We were still living in the same town and knew the same people and we just never got around to hangin out.

Dave: Same thing. After that trip camping I don't remember us hanging out again. I think I bumped into you a couple times but I was too busy doing nothing.

Kim: I don't know where you went. I heard scary things that still make me worry, but you were like my little sis. I miss you too.

Pat: You know to be honest. I always liked you but I can't say I ever really knew you. Hung out with you yeah. Spent time around you yeah. Saw you regularly yeah. But I don't know anything about you or your life.
I don't understand how that goes down but it did.

Joe: Another guy I always liked but can't say that I ever felt like I really knew you. Always wanted to but it just never happened.

Shane: Third in my trifecta of people I don't feel like I got to know well enough. I guess it's more common than I thought.

Kevin: I missed Kevin. Then I found him. It was another one of those feelings where I just wasn't someone he was interested in knowing anymore. That's cool. Lots of good memories though.

Quentin's Documentation Project » Andrew Mark Norris

I'm sorry I didn't call you more often...

I really wanted to...

It's just one of those things man.

Shit just keeps getting in the way...

I'm gonna try not to let that happen anymore.

No more excuses.

There is always time just to pick up the phone, or send an e-mail.

You'll never know it now and I don't know if I ever told you, but you were important in my life dude.
You were there for me on many occasions.

And I know after I moved and got my head stuck in my own ass that I probably could have been there for you when you needed someone.

I'm sorry I wasn't.

You were better than you thought.
More imporant than you believed.
And should have taken more care.
Of you.

YEs YEs YEs this is so awesome!

Well this link got whacked.
It was a cartoon of Harriet Miers and it said,

"I've never been a judge but I did stay the night at a holiday inn express"

I thought it was very funny.

Well the little girl across the street and her parents, while suffering some horrible life event or another of there own making I'm sure, have found themselves temorarily displaced of housing. This is an unfortunate event in and of itself, compounded by the fact that the brand spanking new little chocolate colored chi-jua-jua they just purchased, would have been also displaced.
BUT NO!
They marched across the street to Tami the saver of animals and handed it over to her care until such a time as they have settled into fitting accomodations for such as this little quarter pound rat.
Did I have a say in this you ask.
Hell no.
Is there no recourse I may take to level the playing field?
Hell no.
So now I have four children, one kitten, and one nippy rat-like animal that needs as much attention and coddling as an infant.

I was certain Sammy the tiger kitten would use his kat-fu and dispatch the yipping vermon before it ever got a chance to settle in, but no.
Sammy beat it mercilessly for the first many hours of it's stay in our house and now apparently he shares his food with "el-ratta", eating from the same dish at the same time even.

Whippee.

So now I have to post pictures of Sammy kat-fu master kitten with stripes, and Tinkerbell the mexican rat, as well as what is becoming the "Byrd-Randall sanctuary for displaced critters", that used to be known simply as my new house.

This will not be a continuing problem I assure you.

Because the "Byrd-Randall sanctuary for displaced critters " will very quickly become the "Guess that meat" barbeque pit.

You have my word on it.

This week has been groovy indeed.

Lots of neat stuff. Been playing some sea dogs action. Picked it up on Amazon for 9 bucks couldn't pass that up.
Tami finally found "THE MAGIC SHOES". That's a fun story.
Tami has been telling me about these specific shoes she wants for nearly a year. They have a very specific look and cross styling that we never see.
It is a heeled mary jane style but toeless as well. We looked and asked all over. She looks for them online alot but to no avail.
Until Tuesday. Then on Tuesday of this week while rummaging that ultimate garage sale wasteland known as E-bay, Tam found THE SHOES.
I was blown away. There they were precisely as she had described to me, these perfect unfindable shoes. It was like discovering a nest of Bigfoots, living with Elvis and the little grey aliens inside the Loch Ness monster at the gates of Atlantis.
So she got them and as we speak is awaiting their arrival.
Also been playing Katamari Damaci, and Battlefield 2. I don't know why I keep buying EA games. They always piss me off. I always feel cheated after buying an EA game. EVERY FREAKIN TIME.
Battlefield 2 is good. It is solid, it is exactly what you would expect it to be. And there in lies the problem. It is just another over the top boom boom fest. Objectives, blah, surroundings, blah, mechanics, blah. It's tight to be sure. Cinched up and ready to go. It is just overwhelmingly uninspiring as well. Just precisely what you expected it to be. so $50.00 wasted and another dent added to the Vice President of Vice presidential nonsense management assisatance producers mercedes bill. Your welcome Mr. Ineffectual middle management fop. Glad I could do my part to ensure you get tons of expensive crap you don't really deserve. Woohoo.
Katamari Damaci on the other hand. Very inspiring. Very interesting. Very Moby. It's odd as hell. Just a strange little funk brew of a game that actually turns out to be incredibly engaging, and addictive and brilliantly very short. I LOVE THAT!
If I get really juiced about a game I want it to end soon. Otherwise I get stuck in the rut of playing just to guage how much more I have to do to finish the game, and that leads to me getting annoyed, putting the game away and never finishing it. And that sucks.
But it happens all the time. I finished Katamari Damaci after only playing it for about 15 hours total gaming time. With my schedule and the kids, that means I played it in 2 hour increments over 7'ish days. To me that's as good as it gets.
I love finishing a game and not feeling like I had to make a career out of it.

Luigis Mansion, Katamari Damaci, Sly Cooper, and Freedom Force are the last three games I actually finished in the last 5 years.

Tami and I are planning on going out to dinner and a movie this weekend sometime. Probably some seafood action at red lobsters with that whole endless shrimp thing. NO KIDS woohoo!
Oh well, have a good weekend.
I will.

Just a little complaint.

ADOBE ACROBAT AND READER IS THE SINGLE SLOWEST LOADING SLOWEST RUNNING PIECE OF CRAP SOFTWARE I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH!

I hate it with a white hot passion burning brightly in my bossom like the vengence and seething rancor of the devil himself.

Thank you.

The rest of this week has gone rather smooth. Some kid fighting, some working, a close banking call, and working on the new house.

For the most part the walls in the kitchen and living room are ready for painting.
We need carpet and vynil tiles for the dining room.
Once we do that we can finish the tile and grout in the master bath then fix the small crack in the kids shower, then put up the seem covers on the outside and paint the outside.
Then the house will pretty much be done and ready to move into.
We could actually move in earlier than that and still do some work.
It might be better to do that. I don't know.
I do know that it is getting closer to move in time and I am excited about it.
Yee-Haw.
There is a building materials surplus place just opened in town. I checked it out yesterday and they have some decent carpet for 59 cents a square foot. Padding is only 15 cents a square foot. and a box of 25 feet of tackstrip is only 20 bucks. Seeming tape I probably have to buy somewhere else.
But it should only cost around 350-400 bucks to get the carpet done.
WAHOO!
It's going.

Shocked!
Totally shocked.
After work Art helped me get the stove. We put it in the garage since there is no room in the house.
He went about his business and we to ours, and around 8 pm he called me and asked me and Tami to come out to Ms. Newbys with him and have a few drinkses.
I asked Tami fully expecting her to say no and not be interested. SHE SAID OK. Then she got ready at the speed of light. I feel even more lucky to be a boy. She did all her stuff and did it good and did it fast, and all I had to do was throw on a shirt, brush my teeth, and pray a little cologne and I was good to go.
She looked beautiful. We had fun. There was talking. And some things I should take more care in thinking about and considering her.
And Arthur was fun and Christy was fun and we talked and joked and sang along and Tami started messin with Christy's phone and changed stuff lol.
And then Christy left, Arthur left, then Tami and I left.
We went to Corams to get some food. Took it home, crawled into bed and snacked and went to sleep.
Last night was awesome. Were gonna do it again. Just not too soon. Maybe more often than once a year, but not so much as once a week lol. Hows that for specific.
Well gotta do stuff. Maybe I'll post again about Corams parking lot. Maybe not lol.